Ranger's Reunion: Revised and Improved
by King of the Wings
Summary: A surprise visitor comes to talk to Halt, and to reprimand him for what he has not done. Not nearly as serious as this summary suggests.


It was a warm spring's day and Halt and Will were outside the hut. Halt was shooting at some targets and Will was chasing a rabbit. There was only one reason for both of these tasks though. And that reason was this: boredom. Sheer, undeniable, boredom. After defeating the army in Skandia and that other army in the swamplands, under the control of that guy whose name no one can pronounce, things had been kind of....well, quiet. Will had progressed so quickly that he could now shoot moving targets blindfolded from 200 feet. Halt had done as much as he could to occupy the time, from making a bow from scratch to riding his horse to the next castle over and back. Yet all this time, he had a feeing that a special day was coming closer and closer. Today, without anyone knowing, was THAT day.

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*clip clop clip clop* Halt looked at Will. "Expecting visitors? Again?" Will shook his head. He knew Halt despised it when he had friends over, so he had finally asked them to stop coming. The clip-clopping of the horse's hooves got nearer. Halt ran to see who it was while Will went inside and grabbed his bow. Soon, Halt could see a horse pulling a carriage. Feeling suspicious, Halt peered inside the carriage. What he saw surprised and horrified him, though he wouldn't admit it.

Halt dashed back to the house. Will was _still _looking for his bow, the numbskull, and Halt ran straight into him. "What the he-" That was all Will got out before he saw the look on Halt's face. "Oh my God. What's wrong Halt?" Halt didn't answer though, and ran upstairs, where he hid under the bed. As soon as he got there, there was a knock on the front door. Will raised an eyebrow, and opened the door, ready to impale whatever was on the other side with his knife. When he opened the door however, he immediately put the knife back in its holster. There, standing at the door, was an old woman who looked to be about 95.

"Hello, I'm Herald's mother. He goes by Halt though, that awful name. Is he around," she asked, peeking in. "Oh. Alright, I'll get him," Will said. He turned around and yelled at the top of his lungs "HALT! YOUR MOM'S HERE! SHE'S HERE TO SEE YOU!" even though he knew that Halt would've heard him if he whispered. Strangely though, there was no response. "Hmm, that's odd. Oh! I forgot! Please, come in!" The lady nodded once, and followed through the door after Will. "Well, I know where he is. I'll go get him."

Will walked up the stairs and went into Halt's room, only to find a knife at his throat the next second. "What were you _thinking _Will? I ran and hid! I thought, wrongly, that you would be smart enough to follow my example. Now I'm doomed...... and I swear I'm taking you with me." The two of them walked down the stairs, and Halt's mother immediately ran to him. Instead of hugging him, like Will figured she would, she started screaming at him.

"Herald Michelangelo Picklebottom! What would it kill you to send me one little letter? Just ONE? I haven't seen you in forty-two years! I feared you might be dead! Now give your mother a hug."

*_Death probably would've preferable to _this_ reunion. I thought I could outlast her, darn it,* _Halt thought. Only then did Will realize what the lady was wearing. A pink frilly hat, purple jacket, hot pink t-shirt (or as close as they could come back then), a horribly deep shade of purple slacks, and a HUGE overdose of mascara and lipstick.

"Yes mother....." Halt then hugged her, but to Will it looked like he was trying to touch her as little as possible, while she was trying to hold onto him as much as she could. It was a very awkward sight.

"So, Herald darling you haven't introduced me to this young man here. Hmm?"

"Well you haven't really given me the chance to talk"

"Don't talk back to your mother Herald. You've been doing that since you were twelve. I thought you would outgrow that. So is he your son?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Oh what a shame! I thought you would have found_ somebody_ by now. Hmm? There was that one girl-"

"Soooooo how about some dinner?" Halt said suddenly, jumping up.

"Oh yes, why don't you let me make it? You two have forty-two years to make up!" Will said, smirking, clearly enjoying the scene.

"Stop enjoying this." Halt hissed dangerously, too low for his mom to hear.

"No, no," He said changing his tone. "You sit here Will and introduce yourself to my mother. I bet you can find something to discuss."

"THERE WILL BE NO SUCH THING! Herald, you can't cook!" screamed Mrs. Picklebottom.

"Actually he is pretty goo-" started Will.

"NO!" She yelled "I will cook. Got that? For the rest of my stay I will cook. ME!"

"Er… ok…" said Halt looking uncomfortable. "Could ya turn it down a bit?"

"Yes. I can." She said primly.

"So... uh... how's Dad?" asked Halt awkwardly.

"Well other than being in a coma from a head injury and having two broken fingers, a bruised spleen, cracked ribs, and a bladder infection, he is perfectly fine. WHICH, by the way, you would know if you actually read my letters."

"Well, I haven't really had the TIME to-" Halt began.

"Don't give me that "I haven't had time" excuse Herald! I haven't heard about any armies storming the castle, so there is really no excuse why you can't sit down once and a while and READ them!"

"Well... is that really all that you think Rangers do, Mrs. Picklebottom?" Will asked.

"Well, what else do they do, ummmm….Fredrick?" she asked inquisitively. Halt snickered.

"What's so funny HERALD?" Will challenged. He then turned to Mrs. Picklebottom and said "Well, for starters Mrs.-"

"Oh please, call me Louise."

"All…..right then…… Louise. They carry messages-"

"So _that's_ why we never seem to get invasion messages on time..." Louise mumbled.

"They act as scouts, telling the army commanders about newly built enemy structures-"

"Wait a persnickety second! You mean not knowing about that freaking HUGE bridge was Herald's fault?!"

"…….They protect ambassadors-"

"So, again, it's Herald's fault that we almost went to war with those horrid, smelly, _ugly_ pirates? This keeps getting better and better," Louise said, glaring at Halt.

"And finally, they teach their pupils to do the same!"

"………………………………………………………………..," Louise just stared at Will. "…….So….he's teaching you to be a failure?"

Will looked at Halt for help. "I'm, uh, gonna let that one be, if you don't mind," said his master, smothering a smile.

**FIN**


End file.
